Change Your Influence… by: Angelnique Washington
CHANGE YOUR INFLUENCE
Ladies, how many times have you been accused of trying to “change” your man? How many of you have actually been guilty of the accusation? Well, hopefully this article will give a little insight on the situation.
The first order of business is understanding. You must first understand that you can not change a man. Let me make sure you got that, YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A MAN!! However, you can influence a change within him!
Now before we go any further I need to make it clear that this article is not for everyone! This information should only be utilized by those that have the basic elements of a good relationship! By now you have put in time and effort and you have received the same in return! Your relationship is good, you all are good together, but you just can’t seem to get over the hump. It looks like a hill, and feels like a mountain, but its a hump.
The 2nd issue at hand is Pride. Men have a lot of it! “Duh Angie!” I know, common knowledge right? Then you also know this is why he accuses you of trying to change him! This is where you need to check yourself! Is your pride in conflict with his pride? Don’t know? Well ask yourself this, How are you delivering your message? Are your methods of communication effective in getting you the results that you want? I’m telling you now no man wants to hear his woman ranting, screaming, or yelling! You will yield no results by speaking to him or treating him like a child, even when he acts like one! Most men consider themselves hard. They don’t need hardness from you. He does not WANT that from you! The constant fussing, acting crazy, and temper tantrums, none of that is going to help your cause! However, it will cause him to change his mind, and inevitably his heart. Of course you guys will have arguments, but after the heated debate, take a minute to chill out. Sit somewhere alone and think of how you can readdress the matter in a way that is calm, and productive. Influence is an art. Learn it! That man loves you! Use that to your favor! If this fact has not yet been established then you need to stop reading and start reevaluating your relationship! (Remember what I said earlier?!)
So, I know you’re wondering, “How do I do this Ang? What’s the secret?”, Glad you asked! Here’s where it gets real………I DONT KNOW!!! That’s your man! I cant tell you nothing about him! You know what your man likes and how he likes it, work your hand! And if you don’t know, girl, get it together! All you doing is wasting time. I can tell you this much though, a man will hear the sweet voice and gentle words of his woman. He will respond to your softness. Use your femininity to influence the change you seek. Whether its in the bedroom having pillow talk with your heels on, or wearing those heels in the kitchen making him his favorite meal, get him in that relaxed laid back mode. That mode that lets him know he is home, he is your King, and just talk to the man. A gentle nudge is better than an aggressive shove in most situations dealing with the heart. Your strongest influence is your submission to his strength, his pride, and his manliness. The proper influence can bring forth a momentous change!